Why is she crying!?

So, I am doing pretty well. I really have a hard time with kids though. Today was a perfect example. We had this new girl come in. She is 3. Usually at that age when they come they just cry. That bugs me. A lot. Why bring your dang kid when all they will do is cry and then leave anyway? In my opinion, unless you plan on putting them through classes until they are out of puberty, they shouldn't be in classes at that age! But I digress. Today this girl that has been here for a few days, and hasn't had any issues is in my class, had some issues. We are playing with balloons and having a good time, when all of a sudden she starts to cry. You know what I did? I stared at her. She kept crying. I kept staring. In my mind thinking "what the crap am I supposed to do now!?" More crying, more staring. I decided to let the balloon go to try and get her to stop crying and watch it go zooming around the room. More crying, more staring...
The girl teaching next to me kept asking if she should take her to the little girl's brother. In my head I was saying "the dang girl needs to learn how not to cry! leave her alone!" after about a min (which seemed to be a million...) the teacher came and picked her up. The little girl stopped crying. I stared. The two other girls in the beginning class (the same class as the 3 year old) just laughed at me. I didn't say a single word throughout the whole ordeal. I was super embarrassed.

My poor kids will be traumatized when they are born. I just cannot comprehend crying. I hold a baby and one minuet things are going well, she is cooing, I am contemplating the meaning of life and BAM! Tears and broken eardrums. I must have some evil twin that comes out when I am not watching because I could swear that I am the same person as I was 2 seconds ago when the baby was fine! Then again, I have the same mentality as my father. I remember many times growing up hearing “stop your crying or I will give ya something to cry about.” He always said it with love though. Look at me and my brothers! We turned out fine!

Sometimes you can trick the babies though. Example: if a toddler falls, the first thing he/she will do is look to see if someone saw. Then, seeing the reaction on the observer’s face, will act according to the reaction. I have seen some pretty intense falls down stairs, on concrete, in water, in poo etc. and just said “alright! That was awesome!” normal circumstances would dictate a crying baby, when they are with me, they laugh and do it again. Mission accomplished, no crying babies.

I hope my future wife is very patient with me. And loves to nurture cause I will do my best, but usually when crying begins, I freeze. Come to think of it, that is what I do with girls…
When the crying starts this is usually what happens in my head “okay, I know I am supposed to do something but what? I know!” (a random hand comes out of no where, stretched out at full length and pats her on the back as only a man can do and says “um, are you okay?)

I’m out, peace and love from Mexico, I need to go see my councelor…